This past Sunday I continued with the second installment in the parenting series we are presently in .  We dealt with what has become a very touchy subject in our society today, discipline.  What was done in the past is now considered obsolete for the most part. To be politically correct, we don’t discipline, but now we negotiate with our children. Please don’t misunderstand me, I do not believe that a child should be abused in any way, but it seems like we have gone so far to the opposite side, that so many children are not receiving any discipline and are basically running the household.

In Proverbs 19:18 (NLT) we read, “Discipline your children while there is hope.  Otherwise you will ruin their lives.”  God, from the very beginning, has been telling us as parents that we have a responsibility to discipline our children.  He says that if we don’t do that, we will be ruining their lives.  Those are pretty strong words!

I wrote last week about the elephants that we have in our lives, and how we so many times simply ignore them, hoping that they we leave the house.  We came to the conclusion that that doesn’t work.  We have to be bold and choose to deal with them.

Another thing about elephants is that they have a tendency to get quite dirty.  Roaming around, rolling in the dirt, etc, causes them to get filthy.  Then they come into the house and that dirt gets all over everything.  The problem is that we choose to just hose them off instead of removing them completely from the house.  Plus, they love getting hosed off because it cools them down and feels great.

So what do we do with the elephant called “Discipline”?  The goal of discipline is correction driven by love.  The key word there is “love”.  When we have to discipline our children, it must be driven by love!  How do we do that?  Let me quickly share three things that are important if we’re going to discipline with love.

1. There must be clarity in our discipline.  Our kids need to know clearly what we expect from them.  What are the lines?  What are the expectations.  We can only discipline with integrity that which we have made clear.
2. There must be consequences in our discipline.  Hopefully most of us understand that there are consequences that go along with poor choices.  It seems to me that we are trying to protect our children from all of the consequences of life, and in trying to protect, we are keeping them from learning great life lessons.  They will eventually learn it, but we may not be there to help them through it.  Also, the consequence must be prompt and painful.  When I say that word painful, that could be anything from losing the keys to the car – to being grounded.  I’m not just talking about spanking, although I’m not opposed to that.  Just make sure you don’t put off the consequences, and they should feel a loss in some way.
3. There must be consistency in our discipline.  If we are inconsistent, we will do more damage than good.  We must be consistent in rewarding and in consequences.  We must be consistent when it comes to keeping our word, and we must be consistent in reconciliation.  All discipline must be followed with forgiveness and reconciliation. Isn’t that what Jesus did for us?